Union Problems

With a resounding BOOM the council chamber doors burst open and flew across the room, crushing several of the town’s smaller concerned citizens. In a billow of smoke and a hail of plaster, a stunning 20 foot tall dragon with undulating red and black scales entered the room. "FEED ME" the dragon roared before loudly belching out a streak of hot orange flames.

"Jerry, remind me what Dragon's eat please dear" said the mayor, without looking up from her paperwork. 

"Gold Ma’am, gold and princess I believe". Jerry replied from his usual cowering spot beneath his desk. 

"And how many princesses do we have on hand, Jerry?"

"Princess, not many. We've got a few duchesses and a countess or two. You may recall that the princesses unionized last year."

"That's right the union, damn it."

"Excuse me, would you accept a few duchesses as tribute." The dragon belched a stream of white fire in response. "What if I threw in a countess?" He shook his head with slow intensity. 

"You can take my daughter" cried Luann Vanderhume. Her eyes welled with tears as she lifted a cherubic looking little girl skyward for the dragon’s inspection. "I call her my little princess" she sniffled. 

"Nobody wants your cursed daughter Luann" cried one of the tiny citizens trapped beneath the maple doors. The chubby little angels eyes turned black and she hissed at the dragon revealing a forked tongue and pointed teeth.

“UNACCEPTABLE” roared the dragon, swatting the baby across the room like a tennis ball. Luann shrugged and returned to her seat.

The mayor huffed and crossed her arms. “If you’ll wait politely for just a few moments I’ll be right back with three delicious princesses for you. She called as she sauntered calmly out the side door and across the street to the princesses local 118. There she met with Twinklebell Leapfrog, a petite woman in a dress twice as wide as herself and hair three times so.

 “Nice to see you as usual Madame Mayor” said Twinkelbell. 

“Of course it is,” the mayor acknowledged. “As you can observe we’ve got a bit of a dragon issue over there” she motioned across the street to the dragon’s head protruding from city hall. 

“We could really use a spare princess or two to control the situation”. 

“You want me to turn over members of my union to be eaten? This is exactly why we unionized. They also eat gold you know. I know you know that Madame Mayor” she grumbled as she pushed an accusatory finger into The Mayor’s face. “You think gold isn’t expendable but princesses are expendable! It sickens me. I am sickened.”

The Mayor stepped closer to Twinkelbell’s accusatory finger. “Tell me, are you a princess on your mother or fathers side, or is it by marriage?”

“Excuse me?”

“Leapfrog. It’s not a very princessly last name, is it? And now that I’m close to you I realize that I'd have to have no sense of smell not to notice that you reek of fairy godmother.” Twinkelbell gasped audibly. 

“I…no. I’m a princess”. 

“Don’t worry, I understand” the mayor said kindly, reaching out to gently stroke Twinkelbell’s face. “Granting wishes day in and day out to those ungrateful little shits, and what do you get in return? No acknowledgement, no thank you. They tell their peasants to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, just like they did. Just. Like. They did.” Twinkelbell’s lower lip began to quiver. “Now I could feed this dragon gold but everyone knows princesses are more filling; so, how about I give you two chests of gold for three of your fattest princesses.”

Twinkelbell hesitated before nodding and with a grim smile replied, “Two of my fattest and one I just don’t like”.  

“Done”. The Mayor replied. “I think we’re going to be great friends, Twinkelbell” she said over her shoulder as she sauntered away.